Isolated
by Walkinginthecity
Summary: I once read a psychological theory proposed by Erik Erikson about the conflict of intimacy versus isolation. Erikson believed that it was vital that people form close relationships. He believed having a fully formed sense of self was essential to forming these intimate relationships. Studies showed that those with a poor sense of self were more likely to end up alone, isolated.
1. Chapter 1

**This is pretty much a crappy one shot I put together. If you guys want, I'll make it a multi-fic. Just review and let me know. Warning: It's actually really sad. I almost cried writing some of it. Read and Review! Thanks everyone!**

I once read a psychological theory proposed by Erik Erikson about the conflict of intimacy versus isolation. Erikson believed that it was vital that people form close relationships. He believed having a fully formed sense of self was essential to forming these intimate relationships. Studies showed that those with a poor sense of self were more likely to end up alone, isolated.

Maturity and confidence had always been strong suits of mine, but Ezra and I both knew that college was going to be the chance for my sense of self to evolve. Age had never been an issue between the two of us and even though he was still learning about himself at the young age of 25, he had already been through the adventures of college. Our relationship did not lack trust, passion, or intimacy, however it did lack two college diplomas. Ezra had already experienced all the trials and tribulations and the excitement of college while I still had not even graduated high school. We agreed that if I went to college with complete freedom then my sense of self would develop more easily. And after I completed college maybe we would find our way back to one another. We decided not to make promises to be together because that would defeat the sole purpose of breaking up.

Ezra and I had stayed in touch throughout my college years, but as the years went on our friendship started to weaken. The weekly calls turned into every other week then they switched to monthly check ups. Our lack of communication was not intentional, however it still affected our friendship.

Two years into my studies, Ezra met Julia. I first met Julia while I was in town for winter break. Although I could see Ezra genuinely liked her, I had no idea she would end up being his bride. They had been dating a year when I first noticed Ezra's love for this woman grow stronger and stronger. Little did I know, that love would determine my location on the beautiful summer day of July 18, 2017.

New York's City's lights illuminated the view of the Hudson River as we danced stories above. Ezra's wedding reception was the last place I wanted to be, but I know how much it means to Ezra that I come. We may have grown apart but we would always be an important part of each other's life.

I realized throughout college as I found myself that my love for Ezra would continue to grow stronger. I had also realized that Ezra had a real chance at a relationship that was socially acceptable. With that realization, I kept my feelings tucked away.

Ezra and I both knew that we would always love each other. Even though he did not realize how much I truly loved him, he knew what was best for him to know.

I watched Ezra interact with his friends and Julia. I was truly happy for him. She made him smile so bright that he could light up a room.

I sat at my table, smiling, talking, trying to keep myself busy to avoid the side of my brain begging me to confess my true feelings to Ezra when I felt a light tap on my shoulder, "Excuse me miss, I've seemed to be missing a dancing partner. Will you do me the honor?"

I giggled at Ezra's attempt to be slick and rested my hand in the palm of his hand. He led the way to the dance floor and soon we were swaying to One Republic's "Come Home."

"Congratulations, Ezra."

"Why thank you, Ms. Montgomery"

We smiled as our gazes met and cherished the bittersweet moment.

"She really does make you happy, doesn't she?"

He grinned, "She really does." He must've noticed my face slightly falter because he went on, "But so did you, Aria. We may not have worked out but the time we spent together will always be a huge apart of my life that I cherish." He then slightly bent down to be level with my ear, "And I know I shouldn't be saying this, especially not here, but I will always love you. But I think you already knew that."

I subtly smiled, nodding, my eyes glassy from threatening tears, "And I'll always love you…more than you'll ever know."

With that, the song ended and we released each other. He caught on and looked at me with a puzzled expression. He then whispered "Ar, I just- I just got married. I-I-I-"

"Ezra, I don't expect anything from you. I wasn't trying to imply anything. I just needed you to know that you'll always be special to me, my go-to person, my safety net in life."

He then looked at me like he hadn't in years while allowing a smile to creep up onto his face, "As will you in mine."

We shared a few seconds to ourselves before I broke the silence, "Well, I'll see you around, E."

He smiled and nodded, "You will, indeed."

It was in that moment that I realized that although our relationship hadn't lacked intimacy, my naturally undeveloped sense of self restricted the level of intimacy in Ezra and mine's relationship. And because of that factor, like the people in the study, I was left alone, isolated.


	2. Chapter 2

Can y'all look at chapter 1 and see if y'all want me to continue the story?

Thanks(: Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.


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